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POSTING:

Large Black Mini REFRIGERATOR - Perfect for College - $80 ----------------------------- Date: 2004-08-26, 9:01AM PDT This is a mini refrigerator which I used while in college. It has a separate freezer, and a small hydrator drawer in the main refrigerator compartment. It has two doors that separately access the freezer and the refrigerator, and is in great shape. I used it while in school, but now have moved on up to a real sized fridge which was included in my new apartment. Email me for photos if interested. I'll take $80 or best offer.

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
Sent : Thu, 26 Aug 2004 16:32:02 +0000
Subject : Large Black Mini REFRIGERATOR - Perfect for College - $80

Dear Tooty,

I am writing, rather typing, regarding your posting titled 'Large Black Mini REFRIGERATOR - Perfect for College - $80' on Craigslist. Craigslist, you're so fine you blow my mind.

I am confused by the description, as the item is both Large and Mini. Is this an oxymoron, like Jumbo Shrimp or gargantuan lilliputian? Is the Large Black Mini REFRIGERATOR - Perfect for College - $80 still available? It sounds like a perfect place to put my The Jefferson magnets I purchased on eBay. Damn that Weezy cracked me up.

Please send photos of the Large Black Mini REFRIGERATOR - Perfect for College - $80.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To : "Wayne Joon"
Sent : Thursday, August 26, 2004 6:07 PM
Subject : RE: Large Black Mini REFRIGERATOR - Perfect for College - $80

Hey Wayne-
This is quite an oxymoron, I would liken it to your gargantuan Liliputian. It's about 3 ft. high, 20-24 in. deep, has a separate freezer and fridge compartments. I'm attaching a photo, Hotmail caps my attachment limit so I'll follow with the frontal view. Let me know interested. Thanks

WAYNE'S REPLY:
From : Wayne Joon
Sent : Thu, 26 Aug 2004 20:44:51 +0000
Subject : RE: Large Black Mini REFRIGERATOR - Perfect for College - $80

Dear Patrick,

Thank you for the photo. It is quite large (the photo and Large Black Mini REFRIGERATOR - Perfect for College - $80). It is difficult to discern from the photo.

How many bottles of Hawaiian Punch do you think you can fit in there? That is a good way to judge the size. I like a nice cup of Hawaiian Punch in the morning, although my dentist (quack) insists it is making my gums seem abnormally red.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To : "Wayne Joon"
Sent : Thursday, August 26, 2004 6:07 PM
Subject : RE: Large Black Mini REFRIGERATOR - Perfect for College - $80

cans or bottles of hawaiian punch?
i'd guess a whole mess o' cans would fit, bottles is harder to guess...........maybe a dozen depending on how you put them.
if you buy it you can tell me

WAYNE'S REPLY:
From : Wayne Joon
Sent : Thu, 26 Aug 2004 20:44:51 +0000
Subject : RE: Large Black Mini REFRIGERATOR - Perfect for College - $80

Dear Patrick,

My wife June was stung by a hornet tonight. l told her not to throw a cassette tape (Foghat) at the nest, but throw she did. It may be a day or so before I can get an answer to you on the Large Black Mini REFRIGERATOR - Perfect for College - $80. In the meantime, do you know of any balms, ointments or lotions to soothe a sore armpit (left) stung by a hornet? How many bottles of Hawaiian Punch do you think you can fit in there? That is a good way to judge the size. I like a nice cup of Hawaiian Punch in the morning, although my dentist (quack) insists it is making my gums seem abnormally red.

Also, I only drink bottles of Hawaiian Punch. When I was a boy I stubbed my toe on a pop top, and have stuck to bottles ever since. Sometimes I like to put a bottle of Hawaiian Punch in a brown paper bag and drink it alls secret- like in public. The cop's faces when they see that the contents of the bag are not alcohol are almost as red as the punch itself!

Thank you.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

POSTING:
wanted..2 used Tennis raquets ----------------------------- Date: 2004-07-14, 2:03PM EDT I'm looking for two used Tennis raquettes in good conditions. please contact me via e-mail.

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
Sent : Thursday, July 15, 2004 4:54 PM
Subject : wanted..2 used Tennis raquets

Dear Gidget,

I am writing, rather typing, regarding your recent posting titled 'wanted..2 used Tennis raquets' on Craigslist. Craigslist, not Wayneslist.

I am looking for 2 used Tennis raquets and wondered if they are still available? I am practicing air guitar for the 2004 Olympic games, and could use them for practice. Currently I have whittled down my two finale performance choices to 'Mr. Roboto' by Styx or 'Gangstas Paradise' by Coolio. I came in second in the Canadian Invitational last month in Las Vegas. Perhaps you saw us on FUSE? I played to 'www.nevergetoveryou' by Prozak. The place went absolutely nuts, or bananas, depending on who you ask. One more Top 3 finish and I am guaranteed a spot on our squad.

Please let me know where and when I can pick up 2 used Tennis raquets. Wish me luck!

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To : "Wayne Joon"
Sent : Saturday, July 17, 2004 12:07 AM
Subject : RE: wanted..2 used Tennis raquets
Hi waine,
Sorry I think you miss understood my add . I am looking for two used tennis raquettes for me to use.
Good luck with everything

WAYNE'S REPLY:
From : Wayne Joon
Sent : Saturday, July 17, 2004 3:13 PM
Subject : RE: wanted..2 used Tennis raquets
Dear Patricia,
I must apologize for my mistake. In my haste to find a suitable practice air guitar instrument, I must have misread your advertisement. Please accept my offer of 1,033 'I'm Sorry's.' I will continue to use my wife June's brooms as fake guitars while practicing for the finals. Wish me luck in the big competition.
-I AM WAYNE JOON

POSTING:

A Midsummer's Night Bike Swap Meet ----------------------------- Date: 2004-07-07, 5:19PM PDT A Midsummer's Night Bike Swap Meet Saturday, July 17th, 2004 6:00 - 10:00 p.m. Eagle's Lodge 4904 Hawthorne Blvd. Full Bar and DJ's $1.00 - General Admission $10 for space to sell bikes, parts, and related merchandise For more info or to reserve space phone Dave at - a Benefit for North Portland Bikeworks!

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
Wayne Joon wrote:
Date: Thursday, July 8, 2004 1:22 PM
Subject : A Midsummer's Night Bike Swap Meet

Dear Yanni,

I am writing, rather typing, regarding your recent posting on Craigslist titled 'BIKE SWAP MEET - July 17th' at http://www.craigslist.org. Craigslist, if you can't find tickets to Gallagher there, you can't find tickets to Gallagher anywhere.

I was wondering if there are still spaces open in A Midsummer's Night Bike Swap Meet? I would like to bring my Huffy 4000Z. I recently added a racing stipe, and I feel this should put it over the top. In past competitions I have not fared well, but I blame my pregame ritual of eating orange yogurt more than the bike. I have had some pretty terrible stomach aches, and it has made competing difficult. My theory that racing with a stomach ache will enhance my performance b/c I will want to be done faster is flawed. That's the last time I take racing advice from a cello- playing street performer. I gave her $33 cents in change, she gave me lousy advice.

Please let me know where to sign up for your prestigious meet. I look forward to taking home the championship trophy.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
Sent : Thursday, July 8, 2004 11:31 PM
To : "Wayne Joon"
Subject : Re: A Midsummer's Night Bike Swap Meet

Hi Wayne-

the swap meet is an opportunity for people to get together to sell old bike gear and/or buy new bike gear. It's not a race or competition. It is being held inside the Eagle's Lodge in Portland and their will be no bike riding at all. If you are interested in getting some new bling for the old Huffy, stop on by. It costs a dollar to get in and proceeds go to North Portland Bikeworks.

Hope to see you there-

Dave

WAYNE'S REPLY:
From : Wayne Joon
Sent : Friday, July 9, 2004 2:05 AM
Subject : Re: A Midsummer's Night Bike Swap Meet

Dear Dave,

Thank you for clearing up that confusion. Boy my face is red, and I'm not just talking about the sunburn I got today trolling for ticklers over at the bay. Perhaps I will be able to challenge some of the attendees at A Midsummer's Night Bike Swap Meet to a race. Can you still supply the trophy? I would not advertise the race. Sure it might draw bigger crowds, but what if no one accepts the challenge? There will be some disappointed race fans.

Sorry for the confusion. I will see you in the winner's circle or just around at A Midsummer's Night Bike Swap Meet if no wants to race. Will there be cupcakes?

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
Sent : Saturday, July 10, 2004 1:03 AM
To : "Wayne Joon"
Subject : Re: A Midsummer's Night Bike Swap Meet
Wayne-
There will be cupcakes if you bring them. Otherwise you'll have to content yourself with the full bar. See you there!
-Dave

POSTING:
Cigarettes Newports & Marlboro Lights - $25 ----------------------------- Date: 2004-07-07, 6:09PM EDT I'm trying to quit, have a few cartons of Newport Full Flavor Hard Box Menthol and Marlboro Lights Hard Box. Only 25 dollars a carton plus small shipping charge. These are not european cigarettes, made in the USA.

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
Wayne Joon wrote:
Sent : Friday, July 9, 2004 2:35 PM
Subject : Cigarettes Newports & Marlboro Lights - $25

Dear Tilda,

I am writing, rather typing, regarding your recent posting on Craigslist titled 'Cigarettes Newports & Marlboro Lights - $25.' Craigslist, where Matt Callahan buys all of his socks.

Are Cigarettes Newports & Marlboro Lights - $25 still available? I have been considering taking up smoking, and wondered if either of these brands is the one for me. My wife June recently purchased an ashtray at a flea market for just 35 cents, and my daughter, May, also made me one in class. It is made of popsicle sticked and shaped like a kidney. Because of these gifts, I think it's high time I started to puff, no? What do they taste like? I cannot light a lighter (stupid bees,) so are matches ok for Cigarettes Newports & Marlboro Lights - $25?

Do you accept personal checks? Maybe I can trade an ashtray for a pack, just to guage whether or not these are the flavors for WAYNE JOON? When can we meet to make the exchange?

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
Sent : Friday, July 9, 2004 2:57 PM
To : Wayne Joon
Subject : Re: Cigarettes Newports & Marlboro Lights - $25

Yes, I accept personal checks. I can't trade a ashtray for a pack, please let me know what brand and how many cartons you want. JC

WAYNE'S REPLY:
From : Wayne Joon
Sent : Friday, July 9, 2004 3:30 PM
Subject : Re: Cigarettes Newports & Marlboro Lights - $25

Dear JC,

I completely understand that you might not want to trade a pack for an ashtray, both of them are of poor quality. I did not want to hurt my daughter's feelings, so trading it for a pack would've been good. It would have also given me a chance to try them before I buy. Darn. Maybe I'll give it to you for free.

I am going to head downstairs at lunchtime, stand in the park, and try to smoke one of each brand by borrowing them from passerbys, then let you know which I prefer and how many.

Do you know how to blow smoke rings? I want to learn to do that.

Thanks.

- I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
Sent : Friday, July 9, 2004 4:16 PM
To : Wayne Joon
Subject : Re: Cigarettes Newports & Marlboro Lights - $25

wayne, please let me know when you want to order, I also have dvd movies, Spiderman 2, Shrek 2, excellent quality, james.

WAYNE'S REPLY:
From : Wayne Joon
Sent : Friday, July 9, 2004 4:35 PM
Subject : Re: Cigarettes Newports & Marlboro Lights - $25
Dear James,

I can already see myself lighting up with a Kool Menthol and watching Shrek 2. Did you like Ed O'Neill's performance? I thought it was a little over the top. I just tried smoking the Kools at lunch and have to admit, they are smooth. I coughed alot though. What about the smoke rings?

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
Sent : Friday, July 9, 2004 4:40 PM
To : Wayne Joon
Subject : Re: Cigarettes Newports & Marlboro Lights - $25

wayne, I only carry Newport and Marlboro Lights for the cigs, just let me know what you want for cigs and dvd movies.

WAYNE'S REPLY:
From : Wayne Joon
Sent : Friday, July 9, 2004 7:01 PM
Subject : Re: Cigarettes Newports & Marlboro Lights - $25

Dear James,

I have decided to go another route for my cigarette fix for three reasons: 1.In several e-mails you have failed to capitalize the first letter of my name, W. Initially it seemed that maybe the CAPS LOCK button on your computer was broken, but then you capitalized the S's in the words Spiderman and Shrek. 2. I went down for a smoke break and burned my finger with a match, now my finger is very sore. Do you sell ointment or a balm? I was trying to light the Kool and swat away a bee simultaneously, and next thing I know my finger was singed. Also, the bee stung my forearm. 3. I tried to blow smoke rings, and was quite unsuccessful. In fact, one of the ladies I worked with laughed at me, causing me to feel hurt and embarassed.

I am going to put off smoking for a few weeks.

Thank you for the time and good luck selling your cigarettes and movies and ointments.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
Sent : Friday, July 9, 2004 7:09 PM
To : Wayne Joon

Subject : Re: Cigarettes Newports & Marlboro Lights - $25

No problem.

POSTING:
Antique English Diving Helmet - $3000 ----------------------------- Date: 2004-06-30, 11:33AM CDT Antique English Diving Helmet, about 95 years old. Excellent condition. $3000.00. Call Freddie or Lee at -. Lee was a deep sea diver for McDermott from 1960 to 1982, now living in the Rockport,Tx. area.

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
Wayne Joon wrote:
Date: 2004-06-30, 11:33AM CDT
Subject: Antique English Diving Helmet - $3000

Dear Tobias,

I am writing, rather typing, regarding your recent Craigslist posting titled 'Antique English Diving Helmet - $3000' at http://www.craigslist.org. Craigslist, the place to be for corn chip enthusiasts such as Clare O'Brien.

Is the Antique English Diving Helmet - $3000 still available? The pictures make it look fantastic! Have you worn it recently? I wonder how it smells inside? Are there any barnacles on it or in it? What size head would fit in it? How much does it weigh?

My daughter May and I frequently go down to the pier and hunt for sea vermin. A helmet such as your's would make searching for cusips and ticklers infinitely easier. I'd love to be able to stick my face in that water and not have to worry about it getting in my ears, if you catch my drift. Do you? At night I could store the Antique English Diving Helmet - $3000 on the head of the mannequin we set up in our front window. It is there as a sort of scarecrow to ward off thieves. The helmet on it's head would make the mannequin look pretty darn scary, if you know what I mean. Do you?

Please let me know more details and perhaps we will have a deal. I look forward to hearing from you soon and thank you for your time.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
Subject: Re: Antique English Diving Helmet - $3000
Date: Tue, 6 Jul 2004 13:01:33 -0700

Wayne

Yes the diving helmet is still available. To answer the questions that you emailed me, you need to call the phone number in the ad of my inlaws. They have had the helmet for over two decades.

By the way, my name is Bob, not Tobias

WAYNE'S REPLY:
Sent : Tuesday, July 6, 2004 7:06 PM
Subject : Re: Antique English Diving Helmet - $3000

Dear is Bob,

Thank you for your reply. Regretfully we found a similar helmet on helmet.shep this weekend. I could not wait to purchase one much longer, as my wife June wanted some cusips sooner rather than later. I am off to the bay tonight to try and catch some.

The helmet we purchased is actually what they model those little bubbling divers you see in fish tanks and fishbowls after. I tried it on yesterday while June blew up firecrackers in our backyard. Amazingly I could not hear them while wearing the helmet at a distance of 30 feet away! I am thinking of wearing it around the house to block out some of her nagging.

Thanks again for the reply. Best of luck to you in all future endeavors.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

POSTING:
(by WAYNE JOON)
FDR MEMORIAL COIN ----------------------------- Date: 2004-07-02, 11:14AM PDT Franklin Delano Roosevelt Memorial Coins. Honor our Thirty Second President's achievements by displaying this shiny silver coin in your wallet, change purse or on your nightstand. On the front, 'In God We Trust' and 'Liberty' along with his handsome profile. Your's for ten cents or best offer, many to choose from. Serious inquiries only please

POSTING:

Xbox for a Gmail Account ----------------------------- Date: 2004-06-16, 10:51AM EDT My Xbox console died. So I'm looking for a new one. I'm offering an invitation for a brand new Gmail account in exchange. Gmail is Google's new free e-mail service, which offers a big 1 Gigabyte (1,000 MB, that's 10 times more than Yahoo Mail offers) of storage, Google-like searching of your saved emails, and more. If you act early, you can claim your own unique email address @gmail.com. For more information about Gmail, check here: http://gmail.google.com/gmail/hep/about.html If you have a WORKING (no defects) Xbox that you're no longer using, let's talk. Prefer to exchange with someone locally (Tampa Bay area).

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
Sent : Thursday, July 1, 2004 10:26 AM
Subject : Xbox for a Gmail Account
Wayne Joon wrote:

Dear Mr. Magillicutty,

I am writing, rather typing, regarding your recent Craigslist posting titled 'Xbox for a Gmail Account' at http://www.craigslist.org. Craigslist, I blast all of the sand I can there.

I like Craigslist, I like Xbox, and I like Gmail, so there may be a fit. Have you made a deal yet? I'd love to acquire an Xbox, and I have two invites from my Gmail account. One I am going to give to my wife June. She is going to get the user name 'ToodleLou@gmail.com.' Catchy, isn't it? The other invite I would gladly trade. That's where you come in, as long as you don't use 'ToodleLou@gmail.com.'

Xbox would be a fantastic gift for my daughter May. Recently she has been outside playing a little too much. With the dangers of West Nile Virus and Magnetorhea all around her outside, we have been looking for ways to make her spend some time in the house. Knowing she is inside in the safety of our home with the warm glow of television looking after her would make going to work each day much easier (assuming I feel like going to that hellhole.) It will also keep her away from our snot- nosed neighbor Greg Monaghan. I mean, I understand he has allergies, but can't he use a tissue occasionally?

Please let me know when you would like to make the exchange. With each passing moment the threat of Magnetorhea or the West Nile Virus gets greater (stupid bees.) I look forward to hearing from you.

Toodle-oo,

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
Sent : Thursday, July 1, 2004 9:10 PM To : Wayne Joon
Subject : Re: Xbox for a Gmail Account
Learn how to read, shit-for-brains. I'm not giving away the Xbox, I'm looking to acquire one. Better luck next time, dumbass.

WAYNE'S REPLY:
Sent : Thursday, July 1, 2004 6:53 PM
Subject : Re: Xbox for a Gmail Account
From: WAYNE JOON
Dear Not Nice Man,
Your tone is remarkably angry. Why are you sad?
-I AM WAYNE JOON

POSTING:
Bags of books - $5 ----------------------------- Date: 2004-06-30, 11:11PM EDT I have a few bags of random books mostly sci fi star trek Ect. will part with for $5 a bag or most reasonable offer.

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
Sent : Thursday, July 1, 2004 10:09 AM
Subject : Re: Bags of books - $5
Wayne Joon wrote:

Dear Mr. Magilicutty,

I am writing, rather typing, regarding your recent Craigslist posting titled 'Bags of books - $5' at http://www.craigslist.org. Craigslist, it's where circle meets the square, and square rhymes with pear!

I am interested in the Bags of books - $5, but first I'd like to know what kind of bag. Is it a backpack, or a Macy's shopping bag? Is the bag paper, plastic, nylon or some other material? Is the bag used or new?

Bags of books - $5 would satisfy three needs in the Joon household. First, some of the books could be used to stabilize our wobbly ironing board. That thing is straight up dangerous. I fear that one day it will land on my bare foot (I prefer to iron in the buff) as I iron my chinos before work. What a price to pay just to get rid of wrinkles, eh? A small paperback romance novel or sci- fi bookwould be perfect for this purpose. Second, some books could be used to fuel the new paper grill I invented. Why spend cash on charcoal, propane or lighter fluid. My new paper grill will cook your burgers and weiners using trash and other paper goods from around the house. The size of book used for this purpsoe would depend on the size of the meal. For one sausage link, probably a pamphlet. For a turkey, Dostoevsky would probably be best. The third and final reason this deal would be good for WAYNE JOON is the bag. My wife, June, is an avid bag collector. Just yesterday she bought a tennis racket at the Sharper Image just to get a bag. She returned the racket later in the day, but kept the bag for herself. I could surprise her with the bag, which would certainly make her day!

Please let me know when I can give you $5 and take a Bag of books. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
Sent : Thursday, July 1, 2004 3:14 PM
To : Wayne Joon
Subject : Re: Bags of books - $5
the bags are grocery bags nothing fancey and there are a few bags at $ a bag its a good deal please call - or - to make an appointment to p[ick up
Thankyou Barbara

WAYNE'S REPLY:
Sent : Thursday, July 1, 2004 11:51 AM
Subject : Re: Bags of books - $5
From: WAYNE JOON

Dear Thankyou Barbara,

Your speedy response is appreciated. The grocery bags sound nice. Are they paper or plastic? Do they say the store name or have any advertising? My phone is broken (stupid poison arrows) so I will have to communicate via e-mail.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
Sent : Thursday, July 1, 2004 4:55 PM
To : Wayne Joon
Subject : Re: Bags of books - $5
Are you seriouos? I mean realy man You are more concerned about the cheep 3 cent plastic grocery bags that the books come in the bags are truely worthless if you want to buy the books let me know otherwise i am done with this comunication.
Thank you
Barbara

WAYNE'S REPLY:
Sent : Thursday, July 1, 2004 1:57 PM
Subject : Re: Bags of books - $5
From: WAYNE JOON

Dear Thank you
Barbara,

Regretfully WAYNE JOON cannot do business with you. Your negotiation tactics are slightly more aggressive than I am used to, and my wife, June, will consider me cheep if I gave her 'cheep 3 cent plastic grocery bags' as a gift. I thought maybe they were nicer bags.

Thank you for your time and such.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
From: WAYNE JOON
Subject: Re: Cat Emergency
Date: Thursday, May 27, 2004 3:31 PM

Ella,

I am writing, rather typing, regarding your recent posting on Craigslist.

My daughter May recently pulled the tail off of her cat, Mittens, and we are looking to replace it (cat, not daughter.) Your situation sounds like it could be mutually beneficial.

We would like to name the cats Rena & Shep. Do you think they will answer to those names? Do you think they will like those names?

Please let me know when I can have your cats.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
Sent : Thursday, May 27, 2004 4:59 PM
To : WAYNE JOON
Subject : Re: Cat Emergency
Hi Wayne,
Out of curiosity, how were the tails pulled off?
Angela

WAYNE'S REPLY:
From: WAYNE JOON
Subject: Re: Cat Emergency
Date: Thursday, May 27, 2004 5:01 PM
Ella,
I am not going to lie to you.
-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
Sent : Thursday, May 27, 2004 11:30 PM
To : WAYNE JOON
Subject : Re: Cat Emergency
Is this some kind of joke? You will not lie to me but you will not tell me? How do I know my cats will be safe around your daughter? Is your daughters name May Joon?

WAYNE'S REPLY:
From: WAYNE JOON
Subject: Re: Cat Emergency
Date: Wed, 2 Jun 2004 15:33:32 EDT

Hello!

My daughter's name is indeed May. She is a fine girl, but has a bit of an anger problem. Today she put her hamster, Tippy, in the microwave. The microwave is ok, but the hamster is not. It is hard to know what is normal behavior for a girl her age. We were outraged. My wife, June, and I are considering taking her to counseling.

I have read Paul Reiser's parenting book, and never did he contemplate a situation like this. Maybe I should not rely on advice from a person who starred in My Two Dads. I mean, come on. He was so lazy he split the parenting in half. Doesn't seem right, although sometimes I am quite jealous of him.

Anyways, regretfully, WAYNE Joon cannot guarantee the safety of your kitties, especially if they do not answer to Rena & Shep. We are going to pass on your wonderful offer, and wish you the best of luck placing them..

If you have any parenting advice, or need a character reference in court, count me in..

-I AM WAYNE Joon

REPLY:
Sent : Wednesday, June 2, 2004 6:33 PM
To : WAYNE JOON
Subject : Re: Cat Emergency
who the EF are you? sasha? craig s. list?

WAYNE'S REPLY:
From: WAYNE JOON
Subject: Re: Cat Emergency
Date: Wed, 2 Jun 2004 15:33:32 EDT
I AM WAYNE JOON

POSTING:
86 Caddilac for Boat Motor ----------------------------- Date: 2004-05-24, 1:38PM CDT I have an 86 Cadillac that I will trade for an in/out board boat motor or even a troller. The car is not running. call ----

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
Wayne Joon wrote:
Dear Fantasia,
I am writing, rather typing, regarding your recent posting at http://www.craigslist.org.
I have not heard of the 6 Cadillac boat series, but am interested. They make such nice cars that their boats must also be great. The steering wheels are so giant, they probably used the same one for the boat.
Do you have any photos? If the Cadillac boat is still available, please let me know ASAP.
Thank you.
-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
Sent : Thursday, May 27, 2004 6:14 PM
To : Wayne Joon
Subject : 86 Caddilac Car
Wayne,
I have a cadillac car, not boat. I want to trade the car for a boat motor. If you are interested call me at 899 1253
Illan

POSTING:
RE: Hillary Duff - 2 good seats, face value or Best Offer ----------------------------- Date: 2004-05-25 Hillary Duff concert tickets, email offer

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
Wayne Joon wrote:
Subject: Hillary Duff - 2 good seats, face value or Best Offer
Date: Thu, 27 May 2004 14:21:14 +0000

$4?

REPLY:
Sent : Thursday, May 27, 2004 4:17 PM
Subject : RE: Hillary Duff - 2 good seats, face value or Best Offer
Funny address.....too bad it doesn't fit.

POSTING:
"The night of counting the years" ----------------------------- Date: 2004-04-11, 2:01AM EDT This is an Egyptian movie about the discovery of the cache of royal mummies at Deir el Bahri in the 1870-80s. As an avid Egyptologophile, I would really like to see it. If it's for sale, great. If not, but I could rent/borrow it, that would be good too. thanks.

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
Wayne Joon wrote:
Dear Celeste,

I am writing, rather typing, regarding your recent posting at http://www.craigslist.org on the place for all things listed, Craigslist. I sold a pickle jar there once. Once.

I wanted to let you know that I recently purchased the Night Of The Living Dead over at the Blockbuster Video on Fourty Fourth Street. They had more copies, so you could probably get one there. It is a good movie. The special effects are kind of cheesey, but it has gained quite the cult following, or so I am told.

I hope this helps. Good luck to you.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
Sent : Thursday, April 15, 2004 4:19 AM
To : "Wayne Joon"
Subject : Re: "The night of counting the years"
Thanks for the info. It's the first time I've used Craig's List and it comes up trumps!
I've looked up 44th street on the Blockbuster website but it doesn't show up as that. Can you tell me what the nearest cross street is? I am afraid I'm an ex-Brit-cum-Marylander and am not that familiar with DC (my Imminent Danger Alert System goes off whenever I cross the district line).
Many thanks/chris..

POSTING:
beanie baby - $3 ----------------------------- Date: 2004-04-01, 7:54AM PST beanie baby collection make an offer on one or all call ---

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
From: "Wayne Joon"
Subject: beanie baby - $3
Date: Thu, 01 Apr 2004 20:32:46 +0000

Dear Celeste,

I am writing, rather typing, regarding your posting at http://www.craigslist.org on the place for all things posted, Craigslist. I meet all sorts of women there!

Is beanie baby - $3 still available? I am looking for two in particular, and perhaps you can help. I am looking for Bunnyta. My daughter May lost my Bunnyta at Beanie Baby Expo 2001 at the Elks Lodge, and I have been searching for a new one ever since. Were you at that Beanie Baby Expo? Bunnyta is a bunny with a martini in it's left hand. Do you have a Bunnyta? I am also looking for Mattloaf. My original Mattloaf was a victim of our lawnmower (stupid stupid stupid!) Mattloaf is a teal chinchilla wearing all black carrying a cellphone. That one was more of a cat toy at the time, but I am trying to put my collection back to full strength, you know.

Thank you for taking the time to read my e-mail. Please let me know if you have either of these beanie babies available. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
Sent : Thursday, April 1, 2004 9:28 PM
To : WAYNE JOON
Subject : RE: beanie baby - $3
Wayne Joon:
These are the beanie babies I have: Rocket; Santa; Chocolate; Cheeks; Pinky; Smoochy; Ants; Doby; Roam; Pumkin; Fleece; Congo; The Beginning; The End; Peace; Sammy; Erin; Princess; Glory; Valentino.
If you want of these, please email me or call me at -.
Shimon (and I'm not a woman)

POSTING:
i need to learn to speak dutch ----------------------------- Date: 2004-03-30, 9:48AM EST native speaker preferred, but hey if you speak it, you are better of than myself anyway.. can anyone help?

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
From: "Wayne Joon"
Subject: i need to learn to speak dutch
Date: Tue, 30 Mar 2004 16:14:46 +0000

Dear Celeste,

I am writing, rather typing, regarding your recent posting at http://www.craigslist.org on the place for all things posted, Craigslist. There is no better place to get a job sweeping up human hair in a salon!

Does i need to learn to speak dutch still apply? I think I can help. I have seen the movie Dutch dozens of times, and I have gotten Ed O'Neill's character, Dutch, down perfectly. You may remember Ed O'Neill better as the lazy, potty- mouthed shoe salesman Al Bundy on Married With Children, but I have always thought of him as Dutch. The onscreen chemistry he shared with little Ethan Henry was magical. I still believe to this day that they are father and son.

If you are interested, please e-mail. Dutch is one of my favorite movies of all time, and I'd be happy to teach you a thing or too. I have been waiting all of my life to finally apply the traits and characteristics I learned watching Ed O'Neill's gritty performance, and your posting was like a 19 word electronic gift from the heavens. I look forward to hearing from you.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Subject: RE: i need to learn to speak dutch
Date: Tue, 30 Mar 2004 16:23:13 +0000
ahahh well thank you, but i meant the language!
but i appreciate the offer. have a nice day

WAYNE'S REPLY:
From: "Wayne Joon"
Subject: RE: i need to learn to speak dutch
Date: Tue, 30 Mar 2004 16:53:46 +0000
Dear Celeste,
Sorry for the confusion. My face is red. Rent the movie some day. I love to kick back with the wife (June) and a bucket of popcorn (salted) and watch it. There are so many life lessons, and Ed O'Neill is a wonderful man and actor.
-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: Wayne Joon
Sent : Tuesday, March 30, 2004 6:30 PM
Subject : RE: i need to learn to speak dutch
well thank you
p.s my name isnt celeste-

POSTING:
Wanted Broken iPod - $40 ----------------------------- Date: 2004-03-23, 4:10PM EST Looking to purchase a broken iPod. If you have one and want to get it off your hands let me know. I live in Miami and will travel as far as Ft Lauderdale to pick it up. Give me a call.

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
From: "Wayne Joon"
Subject: Wanted Broken iPod - $40
Date: Wed, 24 Mar 2004 20:10:59 +0000

Dear Terrence,

I am writing, rather typing, regarding your posting at http://www.craigslist.org on the site for all things posted, Craigslist. It's easy to find a date there!

Are you still looking for a Wanted Broken iPod - $40 ? If this is the case, please let me know. I have one that I bought on eBay. It is the 10 GB version. There is a small Winger sticker on the back. The former owner must've been a Winger fan, or bought it off of Kip Winger. It worked great for awhile, but my daughter May fell asleep while listening to the new Wiggles song, 'Keep Your Finger Out of the Electrical Socket.' The song boasts a great message, but it seems to lull May to sleep every time the little scamp hears it. One time she was riding her horse, Winnie, and the song was on Disney radio. She plum fell asleep and off the horse. Luckily she landed in a pile of manure and hay.

May has a bed wetting problem. She wears diapers and uses rubber sheets, but these could not save the iPod. It now makes low humming noise when you try to play it. Actually, it makes a low humming noise when we play it. You have not seen it as far as I know. Have you tried it? I am not an electrician, computer technician or beautician, so I cannot fix it. It is yours if you are still interested. Until I saw your posting I was going to huck it old Dustin Brown across the street. He is constantly spouting off about politics. I thought throwing something at him, especially a pee pee soaked iPod, would show him what I think of his conservative views.

Let me know. I have other items that are broken b/c of May's little wetness problem if you want them too.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Wednesday, March 24, 2004 10:16 PM
Subject : RE: Wanted Broken iPod - $40
Are there any broken parts or is the software broken.
Thanks
D

WAYNE'S REPLY:
From: "Wayne Joon"
Subject: RE: Wanted Broken iPod - $40
Date: Wed, 24 Mar 2004 23:29:58 +0000
Dear D,
Not so much broken as sticky.
Thank you.

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Wednesday, March 24, 2004 11:32 PM
Subject : RE: Wanted Broken iPod - $40
Yeah I was interested in a broken iPod not necessary a urine covered sticky one with a Winger sticker on it (Thats just wrong). I think im going to pass. Thanks

POSTING:
Change traffic lights to green in seconds ----------------------------- Date: 2004-03-13, 6:28PM PST A device that changes traffic lights from red to green in seconds. http://home.earthlink.net/~authorizeddealer/index.html

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
From: "Wayne Joon"
Date: 3/16/04 3:42:37 PM
Subject: Change traffic lights to green in seconds

Dear FiFi,

I am writing, rather typing, regarding your posting at http://www.craigslist.org on the place for all things posted, Craigslist. There a'int no party like a Craigslist party, a'ight?

I am writing with much excitement regarding a device that can Change traffic lights to green in seconds. Are there still units available?

Unfortunately I was unable open your link, so I was hoping you could send me more details and a photo. There was some unpleasantness regarding canola oil, and now Inernet Explorer is busted on my computer. Stupid bumblebees.

This device could change my life, as I am constantly late. Just yesterday I was late bringing my daughter May to her viaduct class. She takes after her old man, wanting the learn to play the viaduct. I signed her up for classes because she is so inquisitive it makes me want to light myself on fire listening to all of her questions. Anyways, we were 10 minutes late b/c we got stuck at EVERY red light between our home and the studio. Her instructor was enraged by our tardiness, and some profanities were exchanged. I have since punished May for saying cuss words.

What happens if two people are using it at the same time? Does the traffic light just explode? It changes the lights faster than just waiting? What is the technology? I would think a bb gun and good aim would be one alternative. How much do they cost?

I am very much looking forward to hearing from you soon.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Subject: RE: Change traffic lights to green in seconds
Date: Tue, 16 Mar 2004 16:06:18 -0500
Greetings Mr. Joon,
I'm sorry to inform you but this device is a restricted sale device, therefore it's only sold to those individuals that are authorized to use the device.
See link to authorized users http://home.earthlink.net/~authorizeddealer/id5.html
Thanks for your interest and have a safe day,
Michael DeLucia

WAYNE'S REPLY:
From: "Wayne Joon"
Date: 3/16/04 4:13:57 PM
Subject: RE: Change traffic lights to green in seconds
Dear Sir,
My internet is broken, how can I become 'authorized?' You would make my little (foulmouthed) daughter so happy to get places in a timely fashion.
Can you tell me how to build one on my own? I have screwdrivers and such.
Thank you for your time.
-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Subject: RE: Change traffic lights to green in seconds
Sent : Tuesday, March 16, 2004 9:38 PM
The following is a representative list of commonly authorized users of Traffic Signal Preemption devices. The regulation of legal users varies state by state and local by local governing body. In general, Traffic Signal Preemption is typically approved for use by any department or individual who has legitimate need for such a device for conducting business of an official or emergency nature. You should go to your State’s “Department of Transportation” web site link and speak with local authorities to learn the details of authorization for your area.

Police
Fire (including volunteers)
Private detectives
Investigators of all kinds
Doctors
Hospital personnel
Paramedics
EMS
Volunteer 1st Responders
Ambulance Personnel
Security Personnel
Emergency Volunteers
HazMat Personnel
Traffic Signal Installation workers
City & State Highway Workers
Community Services personnel
Maintenance, & Repair Personnel
State and Federal Law Enforcement Officials
State and Federal Motorcades
Funeral Homes (for processions) Investigative

POSTING:
Verbot voice controlled robot - $15 ----------------------------- Date: 2004-03-14, 11:42PM EST Still in original box. about 20 years old. needs new batteries

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
From: "Wayne Joon"

Dear FiFi,

I am writing, rather typing, regarding your recent posting at http://www.craigslist.org on the place for all things listed, Craigslist. What a great place to find a babysitter!

I am interested in Verbot voice controlled robot - $15 if it is still available? My last robot, Callahan, became lazy after several fine years of service. It seems it developed some sort of affinity for the vacuum (dustbuster) and would no longer work. We tried replacing the batteries and cutting his hair differently, but it was no use. We have had three slave/ butler Verbot robots in the past, and all have ultimately met similar fates. Perhaps we should get rid of the vacuum (dustbuster.)

We use the robots to answer the door, clean the den and occasionally for foot massages for my wife June or her sister Darva. When they are no longer working, we put them out in the cornfield, where they make excellent scarecrows.

Please let me know if Verbot voice controlled robot - $15 is still available. Do you have any photos? Has your's got a name? I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Thank you.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Monday, March 15, 2004 8:43 PM
Subject : Re: Verbot voice controlled robot - $15
well my guy cant answer the door or anything like that, but he can "go" and "stop" on call. unfortunately i dont have any pics. this is more of a kids toy but let me know if you want to take a look!

POSTING:
Free removal ----------------------------- Date:2004-03-10, 7:06PM PST free removal of unwanted beads, bead books,& yarn.

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
Date: Thu, 11 Mar 2004 15:27:45 +0000
Subject: Free removal

Dear FiFi,

I am writing, rather typing, regading your recent posting at http://www.craigslist.org on the place for all things posted, Craigslist. I like the site, do you? Why go to the dog pound when you can get rid of your pooch on Craigslist?

Is your offer for Free removal still available? There has been a small piece of black yarn on my living room rug, right next to the couch, for several months now. It is possibly cotton yarn, most likely pulled from my black promotional jacket from the premiere of the movie Kazaam. My wife June is a fine woman, but a poor housekeeper. She will not pick up the piece of yarn. It is really befuddling that it's been there for so long.

That's where you come in.

Please let me know if you are still offering this service. We can arrange a time for the Free removal. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Saturday, March 13, 2004 2:33 AM
Subject : Re: Free removal
Yes, my offer is still available.
Where do you live?
Jennifer

POSTING:
note: original posting not available, tried to piece together
Republican and Conservative are not four letter words. ----------------------------- Date: 2004-03-10 looking for like- minded political conversation, all points of view welcome, sit back and enjoy a beer and share your thoughts

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
Wayne Joon wrote:
MESSAGE NOT AVAILABLE

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Subject: Republican and Conservative are not four letter words.
Date: Thu, 11 Mar 2004 13:19:31 -0600

Wayne,

I am interested why you decided to take the time to respond to a post which was completely benign and of no relevance to you. Here are the reasons I came up with. Tell me if I am close.

1. You are so threatened by the prospect of someone having a view contrary to yours that you felt the need to act out. Perhaps you thought by sending me your email I would change my point of view.

Or is it,

2. You thought that you could use your facts to convince me to think more like you. The problem with is you supplied no facts, only personal attacks. This suggest that perhaps you have no facts to support your beliefs and only engage in politics on a superficial level.

Or how about,

3. You were trying to be funny. This seems most likely to me. Unfortunately, you forgot the main reason to tell a joke. It is to make someone ELSE laugh. You clearly do not know your audience because I didn't find anything you wrote to be funny.

How did I do?

If you ever feel the need to discuss issues instead of making personal attacks, feel free. Remember one thing, free speech applies to me, and conservatives, as well to you.

Do you like how I have written a response to you that makes no personal attacks, neither on you nor on a Democrat or Liberal? It is kind of refreshing, isn't it?

Thanks for playing.

Your friendly neighborhood conservative.

WAYNE'S REPLY:
From: "Wayne Joon"
Subject: RE: Republican and Conservative are not four letter words.
Date: Thu, 11 Mar 2004 20:54:37 +0000

Dear Dustin,

I am both shocked and dismayed by your response. I was looking forward to a friendly chat regarding conversative politics. I am most certainly a Republican. My dog is name W. I have a parakeet named Strom. I was outraged when the W's were stolen off the White House keyboards. I stopped watching Saturday Night Live when I found out Al Franken once wrote for them.

I am a lighthearted, jolly fellow, and I thought that making light of Rush Limbaugh's weight, which is not light, was humorous. Other than that, I am at a loss to find a personal attack, except for maybe Tom Arnold, in my original message, and either way, he is dingbat. Like all Republicans, I was outraged that the fine firefighters of America took umbrage to the President's ad campaign using actors depicting firefighters at the World Trade Center on 9/11. Can firefighters act? Doubtfu. Plus, I am sure some Democrat fatcat would've complained that Bush was taking firefighters away from the firehouses and using them in commercials. We need all of them available in case of emergency, not in case the director yells 'CUT.'

I beleive it is high time there was a constitutional amendment banning marriage not between a man and a woman. This country has teetered dangerously on the edge of chaos for the past 200+ years without that oversight being addressed in the constition. I think the whole issue is only gaining notoriety at all because of the success of tv shows like Queer Eye For The Straight Guy and Kojak.

Please reread the original message. Perhaps if you read it without haste, you will recognize we both want lower taxes and higher government spending. Our children deserve to inherit an enormous national debt. Being in my 30's, I do not need the help of social security to aid in my retirement. I can just buy some Halliburton stock and sit back and wait. My social security contributions absolutely should help fund a man going to Mars. We need some place to send all the people who are joined through civil unions.

Thank you for taking the time to answer.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Subject: Republican and Conservative are not four letter words.
Sent : Friday, March 12, 2004 3:21 AM

Although I appreciate the time you must have spent on your response, it is still very clear to me that you think I should appreciate your "witty" remarks. The funny thing is, I don't. You seem to dedicate your banter on snipets of information, nothing seemingly important. Certainly you should not take any of my remarks to be unfriendly. I did not intend on hitting a sensitive bone.

Have a wonderful evening.

POSTING:

Scrabble Club forming in Palo Alto ----------------------------- Date: 2004-03-10, 3:24PM PST New Scrabble Group Forming: Palo Alto Every Monday Night Scrabble Starting April 5, 2004 - Monday - 06:00 PM-10:00 PM Boston Market Restaurant - Scrabble Palo Alto, CA Starting April 5th, we will be meeting every Monday night from 6-10 to play a few games of Scrabble. Come in and sit for a spell -- it will be your word against mine, and a fun way to keep your brain sharp and meet new friends. Bring your own Scrabble set if you have one-- we will divide into two groups - "social" and "competitive." We will have copies of the OSPD3 (Official Scrabble Player's Dictionary) on hand to help resolve disputes. There's no admission, but everyone will be expected to buy something from the restaurant to help "pay" for our space. Players of all skill levels are welcome! Map: Click for Map For more information, please visit: PA Scrabble Club

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
Wayne Joon wrote:

Dear Scrabble Enthusiast,

I am writing, rather typing, regarding your posting at http://www.craigslist.org on the place for all things posted, Craigslist. I like that site, do you?

I am the deputy general of the California Scrabble Board, and I am going to have to ask your group to cease and desist from promoting the Boston Market. Owned by McDonalds, Boston Market is not a recognized sponsor or contributor to our cause, and should not be named in the same literature as Scrabble. If your Scrabble Club forming in Palo Alto becomes wildly popular, or boasts more than 4 members, and an event is held at Boston Market, you will be in clear violation of Article XVUI of California Scrabble Board's charter. Legal action could be threatened.

Perhaps an amenable solution can be reached. A representative of the California Scrabble Board will arrive at your club's meeting. He or she will remain incognito, playing, and probably winning, and likely using the word 'incognito' in a game. At a pre- specified point during the evening, he or she will approach the leader of the Scrabble Club forming in Palo Alto and ask for a free side dish, probably cheesy cream spinach. If he or she is rebuffed (another word likely used in a game), you will be in clear violation and further action will be taken to right this travesty.

We would like to allow you to continue with the Scrabble Club forming in Palo Alto. Please do not allow yourselves to be squashed by the California Scrabble Board. Give the free side dish, or face serious repercussions (that word will be used in a game.)

I look forward to beating you in Scrabble.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Thursday, March 11, 2004 4:31 PM
Subject : Re: Scrabble Club forming in Palo Alto
Ah yes... but beware... the Creamed Spinach Association has been known to associate with Chess players... I would recommend the macaroni, as the Mac and Cheese Society has declared recreational neutrality.
We look forward to meeting you...
Best wishes!
- Mitch

POSTING:
: )WANTED "JUICY COUTURE" pants with the logo"JUICY" on the butt ----------------------------- Date: 2004-03-10, 1:53AM CST i am looking for juicy couture pants, i've seen it on my friends and i can't find a pair for myself so please if u have a size small that u r willing to give away or sell 4 the most $20 dollars. i want it to say JUICY ON THE butt part email me

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
From: "Wayne Joon"
Subject: : )WANTED "JUICY COUTURE" pants with the logo"JUICY" on the butt
Date: Wed, 10 Mar 2004 14:38:03 +0000

Dear Ngoc,

I am writing, rather typing, regarding your recent posting at http//:www.craigslist.org on the place for all things posted, Craigslist. Sorry, no parakeets.

Are you still looking for "JUICY COUTURE" pants with the logo"JUICY" on the butt? My wife, June, also saw some friends wearing the same stylish jeans, but I would not allow her to pay that much money for a pair of trendy pants, especially pants with "JUICY" on the butt. We are currently in the midst of a building a paper mache, or is it meche, toolbox, including tools, and we need all of our money for that project. She really wanted the pants though, she feels it's very important to keep up with the trends, so I suggested an alternate way to get the "JUICY COUTURE" pants with the logo"JUICY" on the butt.

Here is how June solved her problem. She went to the "JUICY COUTURE" website, printed out the logo, and stapled it to the seat of a pair of her own jeans. It looks great, but she does say the staples cause some discomfort. From 20 feet away you can barely tell it's a printed logo stapled to the seat of her pants rather than the real thing.

We found a solution, and everyone is happy. June has her "JUICY COUTURE" pants with the logo"JUICY" on the butt, and I have the resources necessary to complete my paper mache, or is it meche, toolbox, including tools. I am currently making a paper mache, or is it meche, wrench.

Thank you and good luck.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Thursday, March 11, 2004 6:25 AM
Subject : RE: : )WANTED "JUICY COUTURE" pants with the logo"JUICY" on the butt
i appreciate your advice,if it comes down to it i will be doing the same thing : )

POSTING:
YINTAGE BOXING ITEMS WANTED ----------------------------- Date: 2004-02-28, 11:40PM EST looking for vintage boxing items to buy or trade for especially autographs

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
From: "Wayne Joon"
Sent: Monday, March 01, 2004 8:18 AM
Subject: YINTAGE BOXING ITEMS WANTED

Dear Mr. Winterbottom,

I am writing, rather typing, regarding your posting at http://www.craigslist.org on Craiglslist, the place for all things listed. I recently sold my pool table there.

Are YINTAGE BOXING ITEMS WANTED still? I have several old photographs and other memorabilia. Hank Yintage was my favorite featherweight of the '70's. His outrageous afro and equally colorful shorts made him worth watching. I wish he was as successful as he was stylish. I guess you have to have a gimmick when you lack talent, so I give him kudos for that. Did you ever see Yintage fight? To be honest, you are the first person I have ever seen who wanted YINTAGE BOXING ITEMS. My wife has been asking to me to clean out our attic (she is a megalomaniac!), so your timing is impeccable. I am willing to part with my Yintage boxing items for next to nothing.

Please let me know if you are still interested.

Thank you.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Tuesday, March 2, 2004 1:02 PM
Subject : Re: YINTAGE BOXING ITEMS WANTED
it was supposed to read vintage boxing items lease kept me know what up have

POSTING:
Vinyl records, Al Hirt, Herb Alpert, Peter Nero ... - $175 ----------------------------- Date: 2004-02-29, 7:45PM PST ... in addition to some classical, and some oddball classics -- an old Bob Newhart recording, the Sean Connery version of Peter and the Wolf. About 60 records all together. So about $3 each. Call for more info. Thanks.

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
From: "Wayne Joon" at 3/01/04 5:39 am

Dear Boris,

I am writing, rather typing, regarding your recent posting at http://www.craigslist.org on the place for all things listed, Craigslist. I once gave away $1,000,000 there.

Are Vinyl records, Al Hirt, Herb Alpert, Peter Nero ... - $175 still available? I have been searching the ends of the earth for 45 minutes trying to find a specific 45 RPM short playing record, and wondered if you could help me. Do you have 'Call Her Right Away' by Gregory Monaghan? This 1968 ditty made a brief appearance on the charts. It featured the lyrics, sung in Gregory's unmistakable falsetto 'step 1, get her phone number, step 2, go to a payphone and call her, call her right away, before she gets some slumber, call that girl's number. call her right away, call her that same day...' and so on. He sang it on the Mike Douglas show too, although Mike got a little tough with Gregory when he started making obscene gestures with his feet during the interview segment. That episode will most certainly be on the Mike Douglas dvd when it's finally released (target date June '06.)

Boy, that song brings me back. I remember eating halibut and sipping cola down at the Safeway while humming the tune. I got a lot of tail because I could do such a good impression of his birdlike voice. Do you have this record? I would be willing to pay a premium for it, as I know how rare it is.

Please e-mail soon. I look forward to hearing from you and possibly hearingthe record.

Thank you.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Monday, March 1, 2004 5:56 PM
Subject : RE: Vinyl records, Al Hirt, Herb Alpert, Peter Nero ... - $175
Nope. Not that one. Sorry.

POSTING:
blackjack tables ----------------------------- Date: 2004-02-23, 7:22PM GMT/BST I build very high end blackjack ,poker and holdem tables for clients throughout the world. Please look at our web site http://ultimatepokertables.com all our tables are made from exotic hard woods and hand finished with 10 coats of tongue oil.

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
From: "Wayne Joon"
Sent: Wednesday, February 25, 2004 2:54 PM
Subject: blackjack tables
Dear Agnes,
I am writing, rather typing, regarding your posting at http://www.craigslist.org.
I challenge you to a 'winner take all' game of blackjack. You win, I get a table free. I win, you get a personalized autographed photo of Captain & Tennile.
Let me know if you are interested.
-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Wednesday, February 25, 2004 11:05 PM
Subject : Re: blackjack tables
Wayne
If i didn't have such a large family and a lot of tuition for 3 girls in college i might consider your proposal. I would love to build you one though. If not then please tell all your friends about my web site. I just sold one to a gentlemen in London that lives on Evelyn street.

POSTING:
I need a drop in gass BBQ grill ----------------------------- Date: 2004-02-07, 12:53PM PST you provide me with a drop in gass BBQ grill and I will provide you with Kegs of name brand beer

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
From: "Wayne JOON"
To: just_slap_me@hotmail.com
Subject: I need a drop in gass BBQ grill
Date: Fri, 13 Feb 2004 19:16:19 +0000

Dear just_slap_me,

I am writing, rather typing, regarding your posting at http:www.//craigslist.org.

First, let me be the first to congragulate you on a fabulous Hotmail moniker. I hope you like mine, my wife June certainly agrees.

I recently also needed a drop in gass BBQ grill and was able to find one for a great deal at the Lowes on East Second. We have had the neighbors over a lot recently, and a drop in gass BBQ grill has made my life easier. No more long trips to the house and back, putting foodstuffs on plates and lugging them into the yard, where the hungry petting zoo patrons await. Instead, with a drop in gass BBQ grill I can cook up burgers, milkshakes and hot dogs right there! It's convenient, and allows me to conserve the Jorge Foreman Grill I was recently duped into buying (are you looking for one, b/c if so, I was not duped.)

In summary, my suggestion if you still need a drop in gass BBQ grill, drop by Lowes on East Second. Best of luck to you. If you need more information, or just want a pen pal, please feel free to respond!

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Saturday, February 21, 2004 5:17 PM
Subject : RE: I need a drop in gass BBQ grill

Hello there,

Sorgasor taking so long to get back to you but things have been kinda crazzy for me this past week. I would first like to thank you for responding to my add and giving me a great sugestion. here is what I have done though; I have priced out a verry nice stainles steal BBQ at Sears and have checked out the Natural gass regulator at HomeDepot. all I have to do now is build a nice waist high stand with plywood cover it with concrete and river rocks drop in the grill with out the cart it comes with and then hook it straight up to the house to the natraul gass line. (no more trips to buye propane or running out of propane in the middel of a weekend BBQ party. I may also extend this BBQ station to have a Keg-a-rator built in so people could just walk up and get there owne beer right there on tap. no more need for in and out trips from the house to the action in the back yard. once again thank you for your quick responce to my add. have a great day and try to stay out of trouble.

POSTING:
Rare Coin ----------------------------- Date: 2004-02-19, 10:52AM EST One 1898 'V' Nickle with 13 stars. Make me an offer

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
From: "Wayne Joon"
Sent: Friday, February 20, 2004 5:53 AM
Subject: Rare Coin

Dear Mr. Wade,

I am writing, rather typing, regarding your posting at http://www.craigslist.org on the world famous craigslist.

I am interested in the 13 cent piece, and wondered if it was still available. I am a coin collector, specializing specifically in Susan B. Anthony dollars. She was a fine woman, and deserved to have her own coin. My biggest hope is that one day Barbara Bush will also adorn a coin.

Up until this point I had never heard of an 1898 thirteen cent piece, and am excited to add it to my collection. I guess things cost different amounts back then. I often wander the stores wondering why the United States does not offer a 99 cent piece, as most items are priced to end in 99 cents, and people hate to get pennies. Perhaps the great Barbara Bush could be put on the 99 cent piece. Her son is the President, maybe someone should suggest it to him.

Do you have a photo you could send of the 1898 13 cent piece? How much are you looking for?

I look forward to hearing from you.

Thank you.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Friday, February 20, 2004 6:59 PM
Subject : Re: Rare Coin

Hi,

I believe you mis-read my posting. It is not a 13 cent piece, but a 05 cent (nickel) piece, which has thirteen stars surrounding the head on the head side, and a 'V' on the tail side.

You mentioned your interest in the Susan B. Anthony dollar. I have a few of them as well as other coins which you may be interested in. I think what I should do is to take the time to set down and create a list describing each coin in detail, and send it to you.

I also have a two headed half dollar of Booker T. Washington, and George Washington Carver that you may be interested in.

Let me know if you're interested in the 05 cent piece, and or the Susan B. Anthony dollar. In the mean time I'll get busy on that list.

Austin Anthony

POSTING:
Hand Made Soap ----------------------------- Date: 2004-02-10, 3:32PM PST Handmade Soap, great prices! Many different types (Lavender/Rosemary, Poppyseed/Grapefruit, Mint/Rosemary, Oatmeal/Vanilla, many more). Prices vary depending on bar size, but are usually between $1.50 and $2.50 a bar. We can also make a batch to suit your needs, so let us know what you would like!

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
From: "Wayne Joon"
Subject: Hand Made Soap
Date: Thu, 12 Feb 2004 00:01:45 +0000

Dear Lois,

I am writing, rather typing, regarding your recent posting at http://www.craigslist.org.

I would be interested in some handmade soap, and wonder if your operation can meet my expectations. I am looking for a three foot two inch soap rendering of Sherman, from the 1960's cartoon Peabody's Improbable History.

Sherman was the orphan boy who befriended Peabody the beagle as they travelled through time and taught us history, in cartoon form. Sherman is in many ways like my daughter, May, and I hope that having him in soap scultpure form would help reinforce the values that he instilled in me as a young man. Like Sherman, May is bespectacled, inquisitive, and quick to point out the fault in my plans.

The soap sculpture would be displayed prominently in the foyer to my house, out of the way of the harmful elements, as we would not want it to get sudsy. Guests and the mailman will be able to look at Sherman the soap sculpture, but will not be encouraged to wash their hands using Sherman the soap sculpture. I will be sure to keep hand towels away, so as not to encourage the use of Sherman the soap sculpture for bathing.

Please let me know the cost associated with this undertaking, and if you have made other soap sculptures, please send pictures.

Thank you.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Friday, February 20, 2004 4:33 AM
Subject : RE: Hand Made Soap
Sorry for the delayed response, but I regret to inform you that we do not have the means to create such a sculpture. Thank you for your intrest, and we hope you find a way to complete your project. -The M. Sweet Pea Soap Co.

POSTING:
RoboRally - $20 ----------------------------- Date: 2004-02-17, 11:52PM PST Anybody want a RoboRally game? It's been played once or twice, and everything is in great condition. $20 and it's all yours.

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
From: "Wayne Joon"
Dear Lucinda,
I am writing, rather typing, regarding your posting at http://www.craigslist.org.
I AM WAYNE JOON and I'd like to challenge you to a winner take all one time game of RoboRally. My wife June will bake cupcakes to keep the crowd refreshed.
Please let me know if you accept the challenge.
-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Wednesday, February 18, 2004 7:17 PM
Subject : Re: RoboRally - $20
Sorry, I'm only interested in selling the game. I don't have enogh spare time to sit down and play it. :(

POSTING:

brain exchange meeting ----------------------------- Date: 2004-02-12, 8:15PM CST There's a new type of group in Chicago! It's called Brain Exchange ... you can read about it in October "O" magazine and November Reader's Digest. We had the first meeting in January. The second meeting will be on Thursday, Feb. 19 in Evanston. This group provides the opportunity to have your project or problem brain-stormed by a group of intelligent people. If you are interested, contact Kay

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
From: "Wayne Joon"
Dear Lucinda,

I am writing, rather typing, regarding your posting at http://www.craigslist.org. In the past I have succeeded at running a petting zoo and as a mannequin designer. Recently I invented an item which I have dubbed as a I new way to eat. It is a combination fork, knife and spoon; basically a spoon with teeth and a sharp handle. I call it the 'sporkve.' I have even come up with a slogan: 'In the words of our 13th President, the easily forgotten but nonetheless important Millard Fillmore, 'everyone must eat!' The sporkve helps you do just that, and cuts down on the amount of pesky silverware you have to handle.'

I am now trying to find ways to bring the spork to the public. It sounds like your group could be just the ticket. Is there any more information on the group you could send? I do not have O or Readers Digest (If I was saying that in Spanish, I'd say 'no tengo O o el digesto del libro', funny to say O o, no?) Is there a membership fee? Is it all right if my wife June accompanies me to the meeting (she takes great notes.)

Thank you and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Wednesday, February 18, 2004 2:29 PM
Subject : Re: brain exchange meeting
Wayne:
Brain Exchange provides brain storming on ways to accomplish your goals for whatever project you have in mind. It's not a way to sell something. Your email address is rather questionable, which makes me hesitant to invite you to our meeting. This is not a dating service. My first suggestion to you in marketing your product is for you to change your email address as this is VERY offensive.
KW

POSTING:

Mannequin...art project needs your help!! ----------------------------- Date: 2004-02-12, 8:15PM CST Hey! I'm working on an art project and I need a mannequin or mannequin parts. donations would be the best, but we might be able to talk in small amounts of money, or perhaps a trade....also an old laptop would be great. And lots of wires.....lots and lots of wires and electronics parts. thanks for helping, em

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
From: "Wayne Joon"

Dear Dmitri,

I am writing regarding your recent posting at http://www.craigslist.org. In 2003 I was laid off from my job at Mannequin Builders International Concern. At the time I was known as the 'mannequin whisperer' (seriously!) by people in the industy. I attained this moniker for the way I was able to design mannequins that were so lifelike that sometimes people would gasp 'wow, is that alive!?'

Ever see someone ask a mannequin for directions in a store? Chances are I designed it. Want to keep the crows away from your corn? Place one of my mannequins in your field and your corn is safe. Remember the Saturday Night Live commercial skit where mannequins depicting criminals were placed in various rooms in a house to be used as security devices? The mannequins were supposed to thwart thieves b/c another criminal was already in the house. I designed them. The mannequins seen in the hit movie Mannequin Two, On The Run, designed by me!

-Please let me know the gender and size of the mannequin you are looking for and perhaps the mannequin whisperer can do some pro bono work for you. I am always looking for ways to give back to the world around me, and your cause seems like a genuine one.

Thank you.

I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Monday, February 16, 2004 12:32 PM
Subject : Re: Mannequin...art project needs your help!!

hello Wayne,

WOW! are you for real?!?!?

(brother)em

________\_/________
-TeleVangelistArt

POSTING:
Silver Blue Toy Poodle ----------------------------- Date: 2004-01-26, 5:42AM EST Great puppy for $950 in New York, 16 weeks, male, all documents. Will go to loving hands only. Please call for serious requests

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
From: "Wayne Joon"
Date: 2004-01-26, 8:42AM EST

Dear Ned,

I am writing with keen interest to your posting at http://www.craigslist.org on the great Craigslist.

Is the Silver Blue Toy Poodle ? My daughter, May, loves dogs, and my wife June and I would prefer to start her off with a toy, just until we are comfortable.

What tricks does the toy dog perform? Does it take batteries or does it recharge electrically? Would you be able to ship it? Is it already named by the manufacturer, or can May rename it (she likes the name Gizmo!, would probably call it 'Mo for short.) Does it eat some sort of fake food? Will it frighten our cat Litterbox Sniffer (we call her Sniffy for short.) What is the shipping cost for the Silver Blue Toy Poodle?

Please send pictures too if possible.

Thank you.

-I AM WAYNE JOON.

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Monday, February 16, 2004 9:29 AM
Subject : Re: Silver Blue Toy Poodle
Hello
are you still interested in toy poodle we have? We can give him for only $750. Call us in new york at - for more information.
The puppy has all certifications, good pedigree, all shots. He is house trained a very lovable pet.
my regards,
asiya

POSTING:
Stuffed Animals ----------------------------- Date: 2004-02-13, 2:45PM EST I have about 50 stuffed animals all are used but clean. make me an offer

CORRESPONDENCE: ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
From: "Wayne Joon"

Dear Lucy,

I am writing, rather typing, regarding your posting at http://www.craigslist.org. My wife June and I are looking for plush ferrets. We are looking for them to use in our float in an upcoming parade, and live ferrets are too risky. We are the founding members of 2 Free Ferrets, an organization dedicated to stopping the domestication of ferrets. We feel ferrets should be left in their normal forest environ, rather than sold at pet stores and Super Cuts as common housepets. Last year we used live ferrets in the parade, but unfortunately we were not sure our message got across, as the ferrets made quite a scene (you don't want to know!)

Anyways, when I saw that you had so many stuffed animals, it gave me hope that you might have some plush ferrets. If you do, we would like to make a deal. You will automatically be eligible for a smock (size XS) and some decals, and we will be sure to mention you in our newsletter. If you are interested, maybe you could ride on the float with us, but you'd have to hold a sign. I make all of the signs.

Please let me know if you have any stuffed ferrets, or know of a place that I may find one. If not a ferret, is there another stuffed animal that you have that could pass for one from a distance? Many of the spectators will be drunk, and some have never seen a ferret before. They will also be standing far away (2- 7 feet) so they may not notice if we use a stuffed chinchilla or some pseudo-ferret. We just want to get our message across.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Monday, February 16, 2004 2:42 AM
Subject : Re: Stuffed Animals
Unfortunately i dont have any but good luck!

POSTING:

Florida or BUST!!!! ----------------------------- Date: 2004-02-11, 2:20PM EST I am a college student in San Francisco and was given an assigment to create an advertisment package for Florida. I would greatly appreciate it if as many people as read this would send me a list of beautiful things your part of Florida has to offer. I wouldn't want to misrepresent your state seeing as how this commercial will actually be used by a travel agency here in San Francisco ONCE AGAIN, THANKS!!!!!

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
From: "Wayne Joon"
Subject: Florida or BUST!!!!

Date: Fri, 13 Feb 2004 20:53:40 +0000

BUST

- I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Saturday, February 14, 2004 2:02 AM
Subject : RE: Florida or BUST!!!!

the rest of your subject was lost. got anything good to say?

POSTING:
The WALL ----------------------------- Date: 2004-02-12, 4:48PM PST oK....here it is. The WALL. Some body please help me decorate it!!!!!! It just sits there....stares at me.....begging for attention. Money is tight right now....so please sell me something cheap, or.....I do have a 13 inch Orion TV that I could trade you. It is color but I can't seem to find the original remote for it.

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
From: "Wayne Joon"
Subject: The WALL
Date: Fri, 13 Feb 2004 16:02:48 +0000

Dear Ned,

I am writing regarding, rather typing regarding, your posting at http://www.craigslist.org. I have The WALL, and would be more than willing to trade it for a 13 inch Orion TV. I saw Pink Floyd twice on The WALL tour, and will never forget when they launched that inflatable pig into the night sky. I remember through the haze of hallucinogens how it fluttered like an enchanted pig butterfly. The thought alone makes me wish for a simpler time, when didn't need no education, because all we are is just another brick in the wall.

Anyways, I now listen to most of music on an IPod (thanks Steve Jobs!) and am willing to get rid of the cd. I also have a tour jacket, 100% polyseter, size XS, if you are interested.

Please let me know if this trade is suitable.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Friday, February 13, 2004 4:19 PM
Subject : RE: The WALL
hehe you might want to re-read my post.....this email did make my day though!
Sandra

POSTING:

Starting Lineup figures (all sports) ----------------------------- Date: 2004-01-30, 9:52AM EST Got a TON of starting lineup figures still in their packages, none are opened. We're having a baby so I need to get rid of a lot of stuff and make space....All sports, lot of 1st year and "rookie" figures....make an offer. I'll even bring them to you if you're somewhat local. Not sure how many, but at least 50 figures....I can get more detail if need be....just need to get rid of them!

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
From: "Wayne Joon"

Hello Dmitri,

I am writing, rather typing, regarding your posting at http://www.craigslist.org. I am a huge sports collectible fan, specifically wrestling, and have been collecting items since I was 40 (now I am 41!) I saw your ad for Starting Lineup figures (all sports) and wondered if you have the one I am looking for. I am looking for the Greg Monaghan wrestling figure, from the W.W.F. Greg, known as the sushi eating asking out machine, was never extremely popular, making the Starting Lineup figure that much more difficult to come by. Some wrestlers, known as gaffes or lumps, are used for entertainment more than just wrestling ability, and he was one. Greg Monaghan the wrestler was more reknowned for his out of the ring exploits, including asking out every female wrestler and wrestling fan he enountered, than for wrestling matches. It is often said that the role of Mikey in the hit movie Swingers was modeled after him. It's always amazing how far the reach of professional wrestling extends. I have been on quest to find this figure, and though it's a long shot, I thought I'd ask.

If you have this figure, please let me know, as it would complete my collection. Thank you for taking the time to check and congratulations on your new baby.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Friday, February 13, 2004 12:52 PM
Subject : Re: Starting Lineup figures (all sports)
Nope, no wrestling guys, sorry!

POSTING:
Foreman Grill w/ bun warmer - brand new - $10 ----------------------------- Date: 2004-02-10, 9:57PM EST brand new - with bun warmer - color is Blue. $10

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
From: "Wayne Joon"
Sent: Wednesday, February 11, 2004 2:49 PM
Subject: Foreman Grill w/ bun warmer - brand new - $10

Hola Lois,

I am writing, rather typing, regarding your posting on the fine website Craigslist (I buy all of my spices there!) at http://www.craigslist.org. Is the Foreman Grill w/ bun warmer - brand new - $10 still available? Before I go any further, I want to make sure it is a George Foreman Grill, not one of those cheap Jorge Foreman knockoffs. I bought one on eBay recently. I was duped. Oh well, but what a hunk of junk.

I love to use the Foreman Grill w/ bun warmer to make the Joon family secret recipe for Ostrich burger. I have used charcoal grills, conventional ovens, even heatlamps, but the Foreman Grill leads to the leanest, meanest (just like the Mr. Foreman himself) Joon family secret recipe Ostrich burgers there is.

Having a bun warmer on the unit is even more convenient. No more fumbling around with hot buns out of a toaster oven. Now you can just slip them off of the top of the Foreman Grill w/ bun warmer and on to your plate. Please let me know if it is still available, and how much it would cost to ship here to Hoboken.

Thank you.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Friday, February 13, 2004 5:35 AM
Subject : RE: Foreman Grill w/ bun warmer - brand new - $10
Hi there,
It is an authentic Foreman Grill.
Is $8 reasonable to ask for shipping? I didn't plan to make a trip to the post office. Or you just pick it up yourself if you are in the area; I don't know how far you are from Philly.
-bao-

POSTING:
Make $5 Answering Online Survey ----------------------------- Date: 2004-01-07, 5:32PM EST If you're between 14 and 30 years old and have a few extra minutes to give your opinions, you can make $5 for each survey. General categories are what is "hip" in fashion, entertainment, school, etc. It's fun and easy. Email me at -.com for details.

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
From: "Wayne Joon"
I AM WAYNE JOON AND I AM INTERESTED IN YOUR SURVEYS. SORRY FOR ALL CAPS, BUT I CANNOT FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE LOWER CASE LETTERS ON MY NEW COMPUTER. DO YOU KNOW HOW? PLEASE SEND MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THE SURVEY. I COULD BUY 10 SNICKERS BARS WITH $5.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Friday, February 13, 2004 3:40 AM
Subject : Re: Make $5 Answering Online Survey
I used to be a recruiter but I'm not anymore. I can give you the information, though, and you can sign up yourself. Go to www.teamlook-look.com and fill out the background information. When you qualify for a survey, they'll send it to you. When you complete it, they'll mail you a check for $5. Good luck. :) Lori

POSTING:
Spice Rack with spices in there - $15 ----------------------------- Date: 2004-02-11, 12:15AM PST Spice Rack with spices (some of them have been used) asking $15. Even the original packing box is available. Please call

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
From: "Wayne Joon"
Subject: Spice Rack with spices in there - $15
Date: Wed, 11 Feb 2004 15:36:30 +0000

Dear Lois,

I am writing, actually typing, regarding your posting at http://www.craigslist.org. I am interested in Spice Rack with spices in there - $15 and wondered if you had more details. I like to cook, and my spice rack recently fell off the wall and behind the oven. I have not been able to reach it, and have settled into knowing that unless I remove my oven (fat chance) I will have a well- seasoned floor behind it. Without my current spice rack, I have eaten bland versions of my favorite recipes, including Joon Rubbed Chicken and Joonbalaya. If we make a deal, perhaps I will share the recipes (fat chance.)

About the Spice Rack with spices in there - $15 ; what spices are in it? Is there any vanilla extract? Any Italian Seasoning? Would you happen to have a little jar of paprika? If there is onion salt. If so, you can keep it, as I am allergic. My nose turns very redin it's presence. In fact it lights up like Rudolph's when I am near onion salt. What color is the spice rack? My old one was red, but I guess I should stop dwelling on that. My kitchen is Bazooka Bubble Gum Pink, so most anything will match.

Please send me more information, and possibly some pictures of Spice Rack with spices in there - $15.

Thank you.

I AM WAYNE JOON.

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Wednesday, February 11, 2004 6:29 PM
Subject : RE: Spice Rack with spices in there - $15
Hello Wayne,
Its a pleasure to know you and your culinary skills. I must commend your writing skills, they are simply put perfect. Are you a writer or a creative designer. To be honest yours is one of the many mails that I have received which had been a interesting read.
Well here is a picture of the spice rack, please let me know your interest. I would appreciate a reply.



Thanks for your time,
Rakesh

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Thursday, February 12, 2004 7:57 PM
Subject : RE: Spice Rack with spices in there - $15
Hello Wayne,
Are you interested in the spice rack, please do let me know. I would appreciate a reply.
Thanks for your time,
Rakesh

POSTING:
Bunnies, Geese, Chicken and Goats ----------------------------- Date: 2004-02-11, 3:49PM PST Too many animals from our non-profit center. We have goats @ $75.00 each, Geese @ $15.00, Chicken @ $10.00 and rabbits @ $10.00. All animals are ready to breed. Animals are very friendly will only sell to loving homes not kitchen. We are in Sacramento / Elk Grove Area

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
From: "Wayne Joon"

Dear Dmitri,

I am writing, rather typing, regarding your posting at http://www.craigslist.org on the fine website craigslist. My wife June and I are looking to start a petting zoo in the rear lot at our house. The neigborhood children, including my daughter May, are growing up in animal- free environ, and we want them to know learn about nature firsthand, rather than from the hilarious Dr. Doolittle movies.

Are your animals friendly with children? For example, let's say May tries to squeeze the goats tail. Will she be stampeded, or will the goat continue to go about it's goatly business? Say May starts chasing the chickens, like the memorable training scene in the movie Rocky. Will the chickens run around, or will they stop and peck on May's feet? I guess if they are not friendly, we could just drug them up, but I would prefer my drugs for personal use, rather than for the animals.

Your prices seem reasonable. Do you have any references and/ or photos you could send? I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Thank you.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Thursday, February 12, 2004 6:49 PM
Subject : Re: Bunnies, Geese, Chicken and Goats
Dear Wayne, Thank you for your inquires all our animlas are tamed and very friendly. We have not had any bad experience with them. If you are really interested to have some of them please contact my cell phone at -. Our pets are all available immediately. Thanks, Erik...

POSTING:

Vegas Style Stripping Poles! - $150 ----------------------------- Date: 2004-02-09, 6:25PM EST For sale: Two 4ft x 4ft stripper stages with 8 ft poles. Sturdily constructed and painted black with ace, spades, hearts and diamonds that glow under black light. These stages were built for a Vegas themed party and we no longer need them. Asking $150 each and they can be picked up in D.C. on Capitol Hill. They are perfect for any dorm room, fraternity room, bed room or game room. Please reply to the address or above or see http://flagfanatics.com/vegasstrip.htm for pictures and more details.

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
From: "Wayne Joon"
Subject: Vegas Style Stripping Poles! - $150
Date: Thu, 12 Feb 2004 14:26:15 +0000

Dear Dmitri,

I am writing, rather typing, regarding your recent posting at http://www.craigslist.org/ on the fine website craigslist. Are the Vegas Style Stripping Poles! - $150 still available? My wife June and I are trying to put together a playroom for our daughter May, and we think these would be a great addition. May is not going to win any Nobel Prizes, and she is not going to be valedictorian over at Barbazon Beauty School (studying manicuring arts), and a career as an exotic dancer might be the a quality alternative. If I do purchase the Vegas Style Stripping Poles! - $150 , she can give you a free manicure, though it will be of poor quality.

If the poles do not encourage her to choose that path, or if she is offended, we will tell her they are firemen's poles, and that we want her to learn to slide down them, to test her mettle as a firewoman. I was unable to access the webpage (stupid AOL) you reference in your posting, so could you please send a photo. Also, my car is not very long (Ford Focus), how do you propose I transport the Vegas Style Stripping Poles! - $150 if I do purchase them?

Thank you.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Thursday, February 12, 2004 5:59 PM
Subject : RE: Vegas Style Stripping Poles! - $150
Mr. Joon,
The two stripper poles are still available although there has been a tremendous amount of interest in them. They are available for $150 each. I transported the stages themselves by roping one of them to the roof of a 90 VW Jetta and it worked out just fine. I would have to remove the poles of course but all of that is doable.
Please let me know what other pictures you would like to see of the stages.

POSTING:
Mannequin for Teaching ----------------------------- Date: 2004-01-31, 11:36AM PST Looking for a Mannequin for a teaching project. Preferabbly free or cheap and availabie in Vancouver/Lower Mainland area. Where do you buy these things?

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
On Thursday, February 12, 2004, at 07:08 AM, Wayne Joon wrote:

Dear Dmitri,

I am writing regarding your recent posting at http://www.craigslist.org/. In 2003 I was laid off from my job at Mannequin Builders International Concern. At the time I was known as the 'mannequin whisperer' (seriously!) by people in the industy. I attained this moniker for the way I was able to design mannequins that were so lifelike that sometimes people would gasp 'wow, is that alive!?'

Ever see someone ask a mannequin for directions in a store? Chances are I designed it. Want to keep the crows away from your corn? Place one of my mannequins in your field and your corn is safe. Remember the Saturday Night Live commercial skit where mannequins depicting criminals were placed in various rooms in a house to be used as security devices? The mannequins were supposed to thwart thieves b/c another criminal was already in the house. I designed them. The mannequins seen in the hit movie Mannequin 2, On The Run, designed by me!

-Please let me know the gender and size of the mannequin you are looking for and perhaps the mannequin whisperer can do some pro bono work for you. I am always looking for ways to give back to the world around me, and your cause seems like a genuine one.

Thank you.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Thursday, February 12, 2004 4:37 PM
Subject : Re: Mannequin for Teaching
Have you ever made mannequins for teaching? I am a nurse who often teaches health in schools and to community groups. Specifically, I am looking for a mannequin in which to review body parts and puberty. I'm looking for something light enough to carry and easy to set up. Any ideas? Any help would be appreciated.
Thanks,
Hannah
Vancouver, BC

POSTING:
Float Ride ----------------------------- Date: 2004-02-08, 6:52PM CST Ill be in NOLA Feb 21-25 and am looking for 2 spots to ride on a float in one of the parades I am willing to provide a room to anyone who wants to visit NYC

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
Wayne Joon wrote:

Dear Lois,

I am writing, rather typing, feverishly regarding your posting at http://www.craigslist.org/. I can offer Float Ride, and a trade for a room in NYC is a wonderful and magical deal. The oon float carries members of the 2 Free Ferrets organization; an organization devoted to stopping the domestication of ferrets as household pets. We believe that the ferret should be allowed to roam free in the rainforest, rather than being sold by pet stores and Radio Shacks as house pets. The float is attached to the back of a 1998 Ford Windstar (white, very roomy) and consists of members of 2 Free Ferrets holding signs and shouting slogans. Would you be willing to do the same, or did you have something else in mind to do on the float.

If you join 2 Free Ferret, you will be eligible to receive a smock and some decals. My wife June also makes delicious peppermint purses for the refreshment of everyone on the float, and sometimes tosses them to the adoring drunken crowd. The NYC room would act as a base for our expanding our operation into the world's greatest city, White Plains. Please provide more information regarding your intentions and perhaps we could strike a deal.

Thank you.

-I AM WAYNE JOON.

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Wednesday, February 11, 2004 10:08 PM
Subject : Re: Float Ride
Hi, can you please tell me which parade your float is in and what date and time it will be.As far as the room in NYC ask any questions that you may have.PS IM 25 minnutes from the city .Thanks Dee

POSTING:
all tpye over two hounderdbooks for sale - $17500 ----------------------------- Date: 2004-02-02, 2:01PM EST all tpye have to see in person

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
From: Wayne Joon
Subject: all tpye over two hounderdbooks for sale - $17500
Date: Tue, 10 Feb 2004 16:48:24 +0000
Dear Ned, I am tpying this message with much hesitation and excrement regarding your psoting at http://www.craigslist.org. First, I will introcude myself, I AM WAYNE JOON. I am interseted in your book collections and wonder if you cloud give me a sample lsit of the books. I am a collector of the hounderbook series, and your price seems reasonable and fair and good and nice. Can you please sned me the specificses and myabe we cloud make a deal? Thank yuo. Sincerely, Wayne Joon REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Tuesday, February 10, 2004 9:38 PM
Subject : RE: all tpye over two hounderdbooks for sale - $17500
small list williams burg before and after the brith of virgina colonial capital , encyopepia of country furture , the art of giving by stuart e jacobson ,, new york night stewart tabor ,, bottom line year book 1998 ,, less than zero bret easton ,,came to belieue,, golden turolindlaker street smart,,plantaion heritagein up country south carolina by kenneth f. and blanche ,,the book of privilegen infocontents what lawyer wont tell you and much more bricktop of private life ok thier much more it would take me all day thanks for looking

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
From: Wayne Joon
Dear Ned, I am writing earnestly and respectfully regarding your posting at http://www.craigslist.org. I am interested in entertainment for the Joon family's annual reunion in June. My wife June and I invite the rest of the Joon clan each June to our house in Junes Landing to celebrate. In the past I have put on Trolls finger puppet shows, but it may be getting a little stale. Do you have music by the great Dan Fogelberg, Cher and Eddie Money? Do you bring any props, such as tambourines, balloons or pin the tail on the donkey? Can you announce each member of the Joon family (everyone wears a smock with their moniker stitched to the lapel) during the special introductions phase? If so, can you please send a price quote? The reunion normally lasts 3-4 hours and about 19 Joons usually attend. Thank you. -I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Tuesday, February 10, 2004 7:06 PM
Subject : Re: DJ Services!! save money by booking now!! - $400

Wayne,

Thank you for your interest in SpininB DJ Services. Your annual reunion sounds fun and entertaining and I would be happy to talk over some ideas with you in terms of making it a little different for your crowd this year.

As far as music goes, the collection is extensive and does cover the artists you mentioned and many more. Please visit the music collection link at

http://www.spininb.djintelligence.com/music/index.asp

There you find that you can choose to search for individual artists or list all artists or songs...or try using one of the filters in the search engine to specify even more specifically.

As far as June goes, I do have one wedding booked and we are finalising the date for that but otherwise June should be open.

My fee of $400 was mentioned in the post - I can knock that down to $350 if as was also mentioned if a referral from you confirms a booking with me.

The fee of $400 is a very reasonable one in the industry, normally I charge $500-$700 depending on the size and length of the event -- the special I am promoting now allows for your party to go anywhere from to 6 or 7 hrs (though the price is based on a basic 4hr party which is the norm)

As far as party favors go -I do have a couple of contacts in getting some of the novelties and props you mentioned and can quote you an at cost price on those as we discuss further your needs.

The announcing in of guests or family members is most certainly included in the DJ experience and i would be happy to explore options with you on that in terms of bringing to your party the life and vitality you seek.

Please contact me if I can be of any further assistance in any of this,

Bonny

POSTING:
Vintage blue furry chairs ----------------------------- Date: 2004-02-09, 4:54PM PST Three very cool vintage furry chairs for sale. Bought a new table and have no room for them. Super comfortable. Look good all together as a bench. (if you insist on having four, i do have another one that i could give up if necessary) Make an offer - best one by Wednesday night gets em.

CORRESPONDENCE:
ORIGINAL MESSAGE:
From: Wayne Joon
Sent: Tuesday, February 10, 2004 9:25 AM
Subject: Vintage blue furry chairs

Dear Ned,

I am writing regarding your posting at http://www.craigslist.org. Several of my friends, and my wife June are vigilante members of PETA, and before I make an offer, I wonder what type of blue fur the Vintage blue furry chairs are upholstered with? If it is synthetic, I may be able to make an offer. If it is an animal, such as a dog, moth or cat, I would not be interested, mostly b/c of the grief these wacko's would give me, although I say that affectionately.

I think these chairs look very comfortable, vintagey and decorative. They look to be a great place to rest after a long day of work at my puppet show clinic.

Please let me know soon and I will make or not make an offer.

Thank you.

-I AM WAYNE JOON

REPLY:
To: WAYNE JOON
Sent : Tuesday, February 10, 2004 5:26 PM
Subject : Re: Vintage blue furry chairs
i certainly hope they are not dog!
no, i am pretty certain they are synthetic.
i can double check to make sure, but i am pretty confident.
thanks,
~andrea.