Growing up, my friends and I used to debate whether or not our fathers were as tough as Jim Rice. He was one of my favorite Sox players. Rice was tough. Rice was powerful. Rice was The Man. He could play the Green Monster barehanded and he hit homers. Lots of homers. Who could forget Rice jumping into the stands at Yankee $tadium chasing after a fan who had grabbed his hat. To this day that remains one of my favorite Red Sox- Yankee moments.

Recently Rice signed autographs at the Macy's in Downtown Crossing here in Boston. Of course I took a trip over there at lunchtime. I asked Mr. Rice what he thought of the Red Sox chances this season, and he answered 'not well if they play like last night' (a 4-1 loss to Baltimore.) You have to admire his candor, considering the Sox employ him as a post- game show host on NESN. I wanted to ask him if he thought he could beat up my Dad, but I didn't want to get kicked out of the store, or be beaten myself.

Under The Cushions

ARod gets hit by a Bronson Arroyo pitch in the ass

Pitch hits Alex Rodriguez in the ass, Rodriguez eats leather. Sweet!

The pitcher, Bronson Arroyo, is tied for the league lead in hit batsmen. The batter, ARod, dives into the plate. If someone is getting beaned, these are the right conditions.
****

The brawl was fun to watch, but was it really that bad? I am not sure it was even half as violent as a Courtney Love concert.
****

Fox announcers Tim McCarver and Joe Buck talked about the brawl all day long. Normally I would complain, but the item they harp on all game is usually much more mundane, like the way some batters disrespect the batboy by dropping the bat following a base hit.
****

We hear so much about the Yankee$ professionalism, but ARod was cursing Arroyo and incited the whole episode. Folks in the bleachers could read his lips. Contrary to what announcer Joe Buck believes, ARod was not telling Arroyo that 'Buck Rules.' I am not saying that Jason Varitek needed to feed him his catcher's mitt, but ARod is not the victim he claims to be. He should have just jogged to first base. Even if the pitch was on purpose, it hit him in back pocket. It is not like Arroyo was aiming for his head.
****

So what if Varitek left his mask on after he whacked ARod in the piehole. Yankee pitcher Tanyon Sturtze tackled Gabe Kapler from behind. Both are equally offensive. It is a bench- clearing brawl! There are no rules.
****

If the hotness of the candidate's daughters counted when choosing who to vote for for President, W gets my vote. Fortunately that is not the deciding factor. Kerry's daughters have that Nancy Kerrigan- John Elway- Seabiscuit thing going, which is not my cup of tea.
****

ARod meets Jason Varitek's mitt

Can someone who does not drink tea say something is not his 'cup of tea'? Actually nothing is my cup of tea. However, I do enjoy the occasional iced tea in case you were wondering.
****

I read Lance Armstrong's first book last summer, before this year's Tour De France. Based on the story and the way he beat cancer, it is hard not to root for the guy. I may not understand the sport, and don't follow it closely, but it was nice to see him win again. He is truly an inspiration. That said, does anyone else get the feeling Lance's ego might be getting the best of him. He divorced his wife and is now dating Sheryl Crow. There have been repeated comments about whether or not he will ride in another Tour, he has battled the French press, criticized Tour officials, and chased down an Italian rider in one stage of the race to prevent him from winning the stage, allegedly threatening him while doing so. Armstrong has achieved some incredible feats, but he seems to be reverting to some of the brash, over- the- top tendencies he displayed in his pre- cancer career and eschewed in his first book.
****

What is the difference between a posse and an entourage, and how do I get one?
****

Apparently Ricky Williams retired so he could get high. Are the Dolphins surprised he failed a drug test for smoking weed? I may not be Albert Einstein, but I think those dreads would be a warning sign. Who could blame Ricky? Playing football after smoking dope might be weird, since some people get very paranoid after smoking. I imagine 300 lb. men trying to tackle you after taking a few hits from the bong would only reinforce that paranoia.
****

Don't Call It A Comeback?

Remember when George Costanza was tardy with a comeback after one of his Yankee colleagues put him down in a meeting? George came up with 'the jerk store called, they want you back,' eventually going to Detroit to deliver it. I went to the dermatologist this week to get a small wart removed from my palm. It is only the second time I have been there in two years, but the doctor said 'Daniel, you seem to specialize in these.' I just nodded. I wish I had said 'oh yeah, well you seem to specialize in broad generalizations.' Damn.
****

Starting any retort with 'oh yeah, well...' means it is probably lame.
****

Question? Questions?

Could Ricky Williams retirement spawn a Cheech & Chong comeback?
****