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Red Sox- Yankee$ Jokes
Roger Clemen$, after living a full life, died.
When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Yankee$ flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity," God said. "This is very special, not everyone gets a house up here."
Roger felt special, indeed, and walked into his house. On his way up to the porch he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a three- story mansion with a bright red and blue sidewalk, a 50 foot flagpole with a Red Sox flag flying on it, and a Red Sox logo in every window. In the front yard was a sign reading 'Welcome To Beantown.'
Clemen$ looked at God and said, "I don't mean to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I won three World Series rings, more awards than I can remember, and I won 300 games." God answered, "So what do you want to know, Roger?" "Well, why does Pedro Martinez get a better house than me?" God chuckled and said, "Roger, thats not Pedro's house... it's mine."
(forwarded by Joelle Carlberg)
Two yankee$ fans are on a train to watch a baseball game. They start making fun of a couple of Red Sox supporters who have only one ticket between the two of them. Just before the conductor appears, both Red Sox fans go into the bathroom and lock the door behind them. When the conductor knocks on the door they slip the ticket under the door, the conductor clips it, slides it under the door, and off he goes.
On the return trip, the yankee$ fans decide to pull the same trick and purchase only one ticket for the two of them. They notice that yet again the two Red Sox supporters have only one ticket between them. The yankee$ fans realize there is only one bathroom per carriage and quickly take the lead, locking themselves in before the Red Sox fans- leaving them nowhere to go. One minute later, the Red Sox fans without a ticket strolls over to the bathroom and knocks on the door...
(forwarded by Christopher O'Brien)
A New York schoolteacher explains to her class that she is a yankee$ fan. She then asks her class to raise their hands if they are yankee$ fans. Everyone in the class raises their hands except for one girl. The teacher looks at the little girl with surprise and asks, "Gabriella, why didn't you raise your hand?" Gabriella then answers, "Because I am not a yankee$ fan. I am a Red Sox fan and proud of it." The teacher could not believe her ears. "Why then are you a Red Sox fan," she asks. "My Mom is a Red Sox fan and my Dad is a Red Sox fan, so I am a Red Sox fan, too," she replies. "Well," says the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, "if your Dad were a moron, and your Mom were a moron, what would you be then?" "Then," Gabriella smiles, " I would be a yankee$ fan."
Four baseball fans, each from a Major League city, are climbing a mountain. On the way to the top, each is arguing about how loyal they are to their team and what they would do for their team. As the climb progresses, the odds increase. Upon reaching the top, the Mets fan shouts, "this is for the Mets," and hurls himself off the top. Next, the Braves fan yells, "I love Atlanta," and throws himself off of the mountain. Suddenly the Red Sox fan yells, "this is for EVERYONE," and pushes the yankee$ fan off.
