I started out originally writing a new Couch back in September, but I was sidetracked. I got married, went to Hawaii for my honeymoon and then bought an XBOX when we returned.

We set our wedding date a full year earlier. The Marlins had just closed out the Yankee$, so we were confident there would be no conflict with the World Series. Fast forward to August and we realized the World Series could begin on our wedding night. Since the Sox had not been there in 18 years, and had such a hard luck postseason track record, I was not overly concerned. When they were down 3-0 to the Yankee$ my father joked the Sox were blowing the series as a wedding gift to me. When the Yankee$ choked worse than any team in baseball history, the SOX WON THE PENNANT and I began to sweat.

Game 1 of the World Series was on my wedding night. We were not sure there was a television at the reception site, so I arranged with the owner to bring our own. After much drama instigated by every woman I apprised of this plan, I ditched the TV idea. They were appalled I would even consider it. From their reaction you'd think I was calling off the whole wedding. The minister even made light of the situation during his closing remarks at the ceremony. The whole church laughed while I grinned like a chimp holding his Big Unit, wondering if my first night as a married man would be my last as a friend to some of the lifelong Sox fans in attendance. It turns out there was a bar with a television downstairs, and that was where some guests spent the entire reception.

guests watch WS Game 1 while I dance upstairs

Personally I did not even see one pitch (or many of the guys that were invited to the wedding for that matter) all night. The DJ made periodic announcements updating the score, but my bride and I were having the time of our lives and for once the Sox were in the back of my mind. We were home in Massachusetts for Game 2, but we had to catch the remainder of the Series in Honolulu. The games were at 2 pm there, so we had to rush from the airport to our hotel for Game 3. We asked the concierge in our hotel if there were any sports bars or places with TV's nearby and she looked at me is if I were wearing a chicken costume. Eventually we stumbled upon a sports bar/ pizza place in Waikiki Beach called Round Table Pizza and watched Games 3 and 4 there. Good pizza, great service and more big screen TV's than your local Best Buy.

watched Games 3 & 4 at the Round Table

We met some great people from New England at the Round Table, some transplanted to the island, others on their honeymoon. There were few if any Cardinal fans there. One guy from Watertown was at the bar wearing a Byung Yung Kim jersey. If the Sox had followed protocol and stumbled I could have entertained myself by remarking (definitely sarcastically. ok, not remarking, ridiculing) that he must have gotten the jersey from Kim himself. Since BK had been exiled from the Sox roster, no one would ever buy such a thing and I can't imagine MLB ever produced them as souvenirs. Alas we were in a different world, the Sox were whipping ass, and I held my tongue. Games 3 and 4 were a blur as the Sox swept the Cards and we recovered from our post- wedding fatigue, jet lag and world champion hangover.

We were on the island of Kauai during the victory parade. There was no television coverage of the parade to speak of there. Our hotel had a library with free web access, so late at night and early in the morning I was like Kramer at Kenny Rogers Roasters, repeatedly checking Boston websites and emailing my friends looking for any bit of news I could get my hands on. A Yankee$ fan friend told me that Pedro was beaned by a baseball thrown from the crowd. I still think he threw the ball, but I was too far away to alert the proper authorities...

The whole Series and the fact that the SOX ARE CHAMPS was surreal. It figures I was in Hawaii, the farthest I've ever been from home. Surprisingly though, I would not trade it all to be back here for the Series, even for tickets to watch one of the games in person. The wedding and the honeymoon were some of the best times in my life and I will never forget them.

Though some of these things have probably been beaten into the ground and are really no longer relevant, I will post them anyways:

January 27, 2005
According to Peter Gammons, the Red Sox envision SS prospect Hanley Ramirez as their CF of the future. I hope they trade for Julio Ramirez of the Giants ('los gigantes' for our Spanish- speaking friends.) It could be the first all Ramirez outfield in MLB history.
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January 26, 2005
Let the baby boom begin. Two of my close friends have announced their wives are pregnant. Congratulations to them. In related news, due to my apparent fear of the elliptical machine, I look pregnant.
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Giamatti was better than Ned in Sideways

January 25, 2005
Saw Sideways a few weeks ago. The fact that Paul Giamatti is not up for Best Actor is stupid. The guy from Ned & Stacey, Thomas Hayden Church gets a nomination for Best Supporting Actor though? Giamatti is so much better in this flick. It is not even close. Are the people who picked the nominations the same who voted for Terry Steinbach for the Hall Of Fame?
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January 16, 2005
Can we call him Peyton Womanning yet? Don't blink your eyes, this type of line could get me my dream job as President of Harvard.
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January 11, 2005
Is there anything better than Randy Johnson scuffling with a photographer on the way to get a physical to formalize his trade to the Yankee$? Gotta love that. The reporter was Duke Castiglione, son of Sox radio voice Joe Castiglione. Does that give Duke the street cred in New England that he lost when he moved to NY? Does anyone named Duke have street cred? Do they call it street cred, or have I lost all of mine by saying 'street cred' so many times.

Consequently, the Big Unit is reunited with old friend Alex Rodriguez, a.k.a. ARod, officially making the Yankee$ the all phallic nickname team. I thought those days were gone once RJ was traded from Seattle, but thanks Big Steiny for bringing it back. The backpage headlines in the NY papers are going to be filled with dick jokes. Let me get this fine new era started by saying I guess now we know why they are called the Yankee$.
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January 10, 2005
I am in Miami and the Doug McDonalds last out World Series ball nonstory is front page news here. Congrats to Dan Shaughnessy for spreading his unique brand of crappiness across the country. Last week he had a nonstory in the Globe about how Mit42wges kept the ball thrown to him by Foulke for the last out. Met543fsae's comments on the matter seemed light-hearted, but Shaughnessy turns him into Bucky Dent. Now other news outlets are picking it up and it is news. Way to go Danny boy, you've made Red Sox nation a safer place.
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the Mets? tear.

December 16, 2004
Very disappointed to see Pedro go. And to the Mets? Why? My sources suggest that the chance to pitch in front of Mr. Met sealed the deal.

I always laugh when someone asks 'who pissed on his Cheerios?' Someone must have pissed on Petey's Cheerios because he ripped the Sox on his way out the door. I was lucky enough to see him pitch several times over years. There was nothing like it. The atmosphere in Fenway was always transformed when he took the mound. I was in NY when he battled Clemen$ pitch for pitch on Memorial Day in 2000. You could not even get up to take a leak it was so intense. It didn't matter if you were a Yankee$ or Sox fan that day, it was a clinic and you appreciated how special it was. Tear.

I am sad the Pedro era is over in Boston. The worst part is that he acted like a bitter ex on the way out. You know the ex-girlfriend who bad-mouthed you to anyone who would listen when you broke up with her. That is Pedro. So long Petey, and can I have my black t- shirt back please?
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November 23, 2004
What the Pacers and Pistons did by entering the stands and fighting fans was despicable. Fan behavior is increasingly worse, but should be dealt with by security professionals in the arenas. The players who are crying foul (pun intended) over the length of the suspensions should be banned for life. It is that bad. They crossed a line. Artest wanted some time off to promote his rap album, and got his wish. The NBA Players Union suggested Artest needs anger management classes rather than suspension. Artest has already been in such a program for previous infractions. Guess it worked.

At some point a stand needed to be taken and NBA Commissioner David Stern did the right thing by imposing such harsh penalties. The Indiana Pacers may go from serious contenders for the East to lottery team because of the deductions from their roster. This should send a message to NBA teams who continue to lavish rich contracts on players who may have great basketball ability but exhibit no common sense. From Latrell Sprewell to Vince Carter to Ron Artest, these players seem to be competing for negative spotlight. Is there any other league with less- likeable players? The players in the NBA have more of a me- first attitude than any sports and perhaps Stern's punishment is a first step towards changing that.
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November 18, 2004
Is there anything better than hearing a crusty old news anchor say 'Old Dirty Bastard'? RIP ODB.
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November 5, 2004
What a bittersweet turn of events for the Boston Globe's Dan Shaughnessy. On the one hand, now that the SOX ARE CHAMPS, his curse- hawking days are over. Never again will we see his giant ugly mug littering our television screens, dubiously linking Babe Ruth to a negative Sox- related story. Now the only curse he can speak of is his personal battle with the curse of the jheri- curl. At the same time he will miss a Sox team whose hairstyles made him feel so much a part of their season. Listen closely and I swear you can hear the curly- haired girlfriend imploring Pedro to resign so they continue to go to the salon together next season.
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the corporate equivalent of toilet papering a house

October 21, 2004
Did that really happen? SOX WIN THE PENNANT. Wallpapered a colleague's cube with headlines while other colleagues watched as if I were a complete clown. Dorky? Yes. Do I care? No.
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August 9, 2004
Some pet owners tell stories of opening cans of tuna and their cat comes running, or shaking a bag of treats and their dog comes running. The same principle applies to me when someone pops open a beer at my place.
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September 22, 2004
I hope my last words before I croak are 'well, I had a good run.'
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Barry Bonds

Shaq

September 21, 2004
Who has the bigger melon?
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September 10, 2004
I have asked my wife to cremate me once I kick the bucket. I then want my ashes mixed with birdseed and spread around my backyard.
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September 9, 2004
Are those two cats sleeping above John Madden's eyes or does he need to get his eyebrows waxed? Is he blinded by those things? Why won't any tell him?
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in bed with Belichick?

September 9, 2004
When do we start to considered the weather a member of the Patriots roster when they play at Gillette Stadium. It cannot be a fluke that some extreme weather, from snow, to cold to rain coincide with every big game in Foxboro. I knew Belichick was smart, but he can control the weather too? Didn't Handy Smurf create a weather machine? Did Belichick steal his plans?
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September 9, 2004
Ponch from C.H.I.P.S. was the best the NFL could do to host the pregame show to their big season opener at Gillette Stadium prior to the Colts- Pats game? Squiggy was not available? Jim J. Bullock? What about Bull from Night Court?
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September 6, 2004
Let me first to recognize Jerry Remy as a knowledgeable, insightful and humorous color man for the Red Sox. That said, do we have to be constantly be bombarded with plugs for his various enterprises? His website, where he sells everything from t-shirts to scorecards, his recent book and now hot dogs (remdawgs) are regularly mentioned throughout Sox broadcasts. He has become our own local George Foreman, with his name on everything. During the occasional national broadcasts he works for FOX he never tries to promote his endeavors. Can the Sox brass make a similar request.
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